Knotty Bremen Town Musicians
by DavidPresents
Summary: A damsel in distress version of the old story, with four well-known fairytale heroines replacing the animal musicians. Rated for light bondage.


Once upon a time there were four completely grown-up fairytale heroines who, being musically gifted, decided to form their own band. There was Red Riding Hood on guitar, Goldilocks on bass, Cinderella on keyboard, and Rapunzel on drums. As the idea to create this group had come while visiting the small town of Bremen, New York, they decided to call themselves the Bremen Town Musicians.

"What a stupid name for a band," said Margaux, the younger of Cinderella's ugly stepsisters.

"It's a great name," Cinderella shouted back. She said it so loudly because, deep inside, she feared Margaux was right.

"I can think of about a million names better than that," said Elspeth, the elder stepsister.

"Name one!" Cinderella challenged.

"I'll bet their music is awful, too," announced Margaux.

"We'd be a hundred times better," agreed Elspeth.

"Yeah, well, if that's what you think, why don't you form your own band?" suggested Cinderella.

"We'll do that!" the sisters agreed. "Mom, will you be our manager?"

"Of course, dears," Desdemona agreed, hugging her two daughters and smiling nastily at Cinderella. Remember, she was her wicked stepmother. "With me taking care of business you'll go places!"

"Oh, please." Cinderella rolled her eyes. "All you'll do is talk without actually doing anything, and even if you did, there's no one desperate enough to hire you!"

"Someone would so hire us!" yelled Margaux. "Mom'd make sure they would! Wouldn't you, mom?"

"Of course I would, and Cindy, speak nicely to your sisters," Desdemona ordered. "I didn't raise you to talk mean like that!"

"Whatever," said Cinderella. "I don't have time to waste arguing. I need to get to practice."

"No amount of practice will ever make you any good!" Margaux delivered as a parting shot, but Cinderella had already slammed the house door shut behind her.

…..

"You're all I ne-e-e-e-e-ed," trilled Goldilocks.

"DRUM SOLO!" shouted Rapunzel, flailing her arms wildly.

"Knock it off, Zelly!" Cinderella ordered. "You can't break out into a drum solo in every song!"

"I don't see why not," the lengthy-haired damsel huffed, throwing down her drumsticks.

"Could we please get through one practice without it turning into a fight?" pleaded Red Riding Hood. "Come on, girls! Let's work together! We're the Bremen Town Musicians!"

"No you're not, baby," announced The Wolf, sauntering into Goldilocks' garage, which was where they were practicing.

"Wolfy, what are you doing here?" asked Cinderella.

"I'm your manager, baby," he explained.

"No, you're not," Red Riding Hood decided, as the other three band members looked at one another in bewilderment. "It's all just a trick to tie us up."

"Why would I do that, baby?" The Wolf asked blankly.

"Because you've tied me up a bunch of times!" she exploded back. "Usually not for any reason except I think you just felt like it. I know it's all in good fun… usually, but we'll never get any singing done with you around."

"Um, Wolfy, while it's very nice of you to offer…" Goldilocks began.

"Yes it is," he agreed. "And I've already got you your first gig."

"All right!" shouted Rapunzel, banging out a staccato beat of enthusiasm.

"Knowing Wolfy, it's more likely a gag than a gig," Cinderella muttered.

"Well done, Wolfy," said Red Riding Hood, "but, why'd you say we weren't the Bremen Town Musicians?"

"That name's no good," he explained. "From now on, you're Raspberry Stardust."

"But, I like the Bremen Town Musicians better," Goldilocks protested.

"You can't be serious, Goldi," said Rapunzel. "Raspberry Stardust rocks!"

"I like it," Red Riding Hood admitted. "What do you say, Cindy?"

"Sure, let's go with it," Cinderella agreed. "Our old name was pretty lame, really."

"Oh, all right," sighed Goldilocks, giving in. "Okay, Wolfy, what's this gig you've got lined up for us?"

"It's a University bash, downstate in Troy," he explained.

"Troy‽" exclaimed Red Riding Hood. "But that's miles away, Wolfy!"

"Yeah, it's a ways," The Wolf acknowledged. "But hey, you'll have me for company, baby! Besides…"

"Woo hoo!" Rapunzel interrupted. "Road trip! Yeah!"

"…I've arranged a great place for you to spend the night before the concert," he concluded.

…..

"You have reached your destination," the satnav announced in its featureless voice.

"That _can't_ be right!" Rapunzel exclaimed, pausing uncertainly at the entrance to a weed-choked dirt driveway that branched off from the bumpy country road and wound listlessly to a derelict wooden house, seemingly crumbling into oblivion. Even from the distance the aging structure appeared to be in desperate need of repairs.

"This is the place, all right," Red Riding Hood announced grimly, finally understanding why The Wolf had insisted on being dropped off at his hotel first. She patted her cellphone, resolving to give him an earful as soon as she settled in.

"But, I don't understand why we can't stay at a hotel instead of some rundown country house," Goldilocks protested as Rapunzel reluctantly nudged the vehicle along the driveway.

"Wolfy explained that before," Red Riding Hood said. "So we could practice without bothering anyone."

"He never said the house would be so… dismal, though," said Cinderella, peering out in dismay. She shuddered as she saw the wind flap a few wooden shutters. "It almost looks haunted! How are we supposed to get our equipment inside?"

"Wolfy mentioned a caretaker," Red Riding Hood said. "Look, someone's waving a flashlight. That must be him, Jack Horner." She rolled down the van window.

"What do you want?" the elderly man demanded, peering into the van suspiciously.

"We're the Bremen Town… I mean, we're Raspberry Stardust," Red Riding Hood explained.

"Never heard of them!" Jack shouted. "This is private property, so buzz off!"

"Theodore Wolf made arrangements for us to spend the night here," Red Riding Hood added.

"Yeah, him I heard of," the caretaker admitted grudgingly. "So you're them rock and rollers, eh? Take my advice and clear out, right quick!" As soon as he finished speaking, a flash of lightning and a roll of thunder punctuated his remark.

"You mean, because the place looks so yucky?" asked Rapunzel.

"No, because the last folks who stayed here completely disappeared!" Jack announced. Hail began drumming down, pea sized, but he stood unflinching, as if it didn't bother him in the slightest. "No trace of them was ever found again!"

"That's it, we're leaving!" Rapunzel decided, shifting from neutral to first gear.

"No, Zelly, we're not leaving," Red Riding Hood said firmly. "Turn off the engine. Come on, Mr. Horner, Wolfy, I mean, Theodore said you'd help us move our stuff inside."

"No point, as I'm sure you won't be staying long." Jack shrugged his shoulders.

Goldilocks hopped out of the van, holding a newspaper for protection over her blonde hair. "Just take everything in, will you?" she shouted, dashing for the front door.

"Perhaps you need some convincing not to stay," Jack mumbled.

"What was that?" Red Riding Hood demanded.

"Nothing." The caretaker opened the van's rear doors, and the remaining three damsels hurried away.

Red Riding Hood paused in the doorway. It had grown dark with remarkable swiftness, but a flash of lightning briefly illuminated the unkempt front lawn. For an instant, she saw the old caretaker, arguing loudly… with himself, it must have been, for she could not see anyone else present… before the night swallowed him again.

…..

"Let's make some music!" Rapunzel thumped her drumsticks against the moth-eaten couch, raising a small cloud of dust. She twirled energetically, having completely forgotten her fears of disappearing. "Oops!" she exclaimed, as her drumsticks slipped from her hands and clattered to the floor. She bent down to retrieve them from under the sofa, knocking over a tall, brass candlestick in the process.

"Careful, Zelly, we may need those candles later, if the power goes out," said Cinderella. "The way the storm's going, we just might."

"Oops," Rapunzel said again. She accidentally kicked one of her drumsticks and scurried to a dark corner to recover it. "Maybe we should light them now." She groped blindly with one hand. "It could stand to be a little brighter in here." As if to accentuate her remark, an overhead bulb popped loudly, deepening the eerie shadows.

Cinderella gulped; she still had a few matches in her handbag, didn't she? "Right, practice time!"

"Yeah, that was the whole reason for staying in this dump." Goldilocks sighed as she headed to the center of the room, where Jack Horner had arranged their equipment. She strummed a couple quick chords on her electric bass and looked around irritably. "Well, come on, everybody!"

"Cindy, you ready?" asked Red Riding Hood, tuning her guitar.

"Right!" she announced, gliding her hands over the keyboard. "Give us a beat, Zelly!"

"Zelly, hurry up and grab your drumsticks!" Red Riding Hood ordered. "You were so keen to get started, get over here!"

There was no answer.

"Rapunzel!" shouted Goldilocks, and then all three damsels called her name together. The musicians moved from their instruments and looked at one another in bewilderment.

"Where'd she go?" asked Red Riding Hood.

"Ooh, you remember what that caretaker said about the last people disappearing?" asked Cinderella.

"No one disappeared, Cindy," Red Riding Hood said derisively. "He made that up to get out of dealing with our equipment. I'm sure Zelly's distracted by… something. This is an interesting old house."

"It's not _that_ interesting." Cinderella frowned at the peeling wallpaper.

"Maybe she went to get something from her bedroom," Goldilocks suggested. She flopped onto the couch and flipped open her soggy newspaper. "Or maybe she had to use the bathroom. Why don't you call her cellphone?"

"Good idea!" announced Red Riding Hood, pressing a button.

"Hello?" said Cinderella.

"What are you doing, Cindy?" demanded Red Riding Hood.

"Well, I heard Zelly's phone going, just lying here, so I answered it," she explained.

"Never mind," sighed Goldilocks. "We're worrying about nothing. I'm sure she'll be back in a… EEK!"

"Calm down!" Red Riding Hood shouted. "That was just an unusually loud peal of thunder, but we're safe in here!"

"No, we're not!" Goldilocks held up the newspaper. "Look at this! It says Papa Bear escaped from the maximum security zoo in Watertown!"

"Well, so what?" demanded Cinderella. "That's way far away from here."

"You don't understand," said Goldilocks. "My father owes him a ton of money from gambling debts. Papa Bear once tied me up to try and collect from him, and he swore he'd do it again. He's here! Papa Bear's here, and kidnapped Zelly!" She crouched anxiously behind the couch, as if to hide from unseen eyes searching for her.

"We've got to get out of here!" shouted Cinderella.

"Wait a minute!" Red Riding Hood waved her arms for silence. "First, I don't believe he's here…"

"Yes, he is!" Cinderella insisted. "He must have followed us, to capture Goldi!"

"Well, if that's true," Red Riding Hood countered, "then he would have captured _her_, not Rapunzel. Right? RIGHT?"

"Maybe, but perhaps he wanted to get her out of the way first," said Cinderella.

"I'm sure Zelly will wander back in a minute," Red Riding Hood stated firmly. "Particularly if she hears us performing, so why don't you give us a beat on the keyboard? And you, stop cowering behind that couch and sing lead on _Fairytale Loving_, okay, Goldi?"

There was no answer.

"Okay, now where's _she _gone?" Red Riding Hood asked in disgust. She peered around the couch, but saw no sign of her friend.

Both musicians called Goldilocks' name loudly and frantically. They mixed in cries for Rapunzel as well, but, besides the cacophony of the storm, their calls met with silence….

…..

There was an unfinished room on the upper floor of the old house with exposed beams in the ceiling, walls, and floor. Rapunzel stood in this attic, her arms stretched high over her head. Her wrists were bound together with thin, white rope that looped around a beam overhead, skillfully knotted. Rope surrounded her thighs, crisscrossed her knees, and surrounded her calves. Her ankles were bound together, with rope running underneath the beam upon which she precariously perched. She could wriggle her body quite energetically, forward and back, side to side, twisting all about, but she could not escape her bonds.

She could not speak clearly, either, for cloth had been stuffed into her mouth, and her lips had been sealed shut with gray duct tape. She could _try_ to communicate, though! Goldilocks stood forlornly next to her, bound and gagged in a similar fashion. Narrowing her eyes, Rapunzel did all she could do to send the message: _When I disappeared, you __**should **__have gotten help, not gotten captured yourself!_

"Mpfff," Goldilocks replied, desperately attempting to explain despite the gag. Just then the strains of _Fairytale Loving_ tinkled. It was her cellphone; both captive damsels stared longingly at the electronic device clipped to Goldilocks' shiny yellow belt, but could only dream of reaching it. Soon the music quieted, leaving the pair to their ineffective escape attempts, wondering if Red Riding Hood and Cinderella would free them… or join them in their distress….

…..

"Maybe we should get the caretaker," Cinderella said nervously. "How do we get hold of him?"

"He didn't leave a number," Red Riding Hood answered, "although I noticed his cottage out back earlier. Fancy a brisk walk in this downpour? He's probably there."

"Unless he's inside here, kidnapping our band members!" Cinderella exclaimed. "You heard what he said about us needing some convincing to leave!"

"Oh, please!" Red Riding Hood rolled her eyes. "How's one old guy going to overpower us?"

"Somebody's doing something!" Cinderella countered.

"Maybe we're worrying about nothing," Red Riding Hood announced. "You know what I think is going on? It's Wolfy! You know how much he enjoys tying up damsels purely for the fun of it!"

"Wolfy? How'd he get here in this storm?" Cinderella asked skeptically. "He doesn't have any transportation. We drove him down here, remember?"

"You know Wolfy," Red Riding Hood said. "He can be pretty persuasive. Maybe he talked someone into giving him a ride to this house. He must be behind the disappearances, doing it like for a game!"

"It's not a very fun game, if so!" Cinderella huffed.

"Oh, come on," said Red Riding Hood. "He doesn't mean any harm in it."

Cinderella laughed scornfully, a trick she had learned from her wicked stepmother. "You're making excuses for him because you think you're the one who's going to tame him eventually, but I got news: it ain't gonna happen, sister! What do you want to bet he's entertaining some other girl in his hotel room right now?"

Red Riding Hood felt her face flush as red as her eponymous garment. "I'm calling him!" she announced, pressing another button on her cellphone.

"Hey, baby," The Wolf's voice came.

"Wolfy, where are you?" Red Riding Hood demanded.

"In my hotel room," he explained, making the answer sound obvious. "Bit busy at the moment, so I'll call you back later, okay?"

"What are you busy doing?" Red Riding Hood demanded jealously. "You don't have someone else in there, do you?"

"No, baby, just working on promoting Raspberry Stardust," The Wolf answered.

"Wolfy, there's something very mysterious going on here!" Red Riding Hood said. "Zelly and Goldi have disappeared!"

"Relax, baby, it's a big house; take a look around and you'll find them."

"But Wolfy…! Wolfy, I heard something! Are you i_sure/i_ you're alone?"

"Real busy, baby, gotta go," said The Wolf, hanging up.

"Well, at least we know Wolfy's not behind the disappearances," said Cinderella.

"How do we know that?" countered Red Riding Hood. "We only have his word that he's in his hotel room. He could really be in this house!"

"I don't think so," said Cinderella. "There's something very mysterious going on, and I'm going to do what we should have done from the start. I'm calling the police! Where's my handbag?"

There was a tremendous crash of thunder. The house dropped in darkness as the electric lights winked out. Cinderella fumbled with her cellphone, and groaned as the device indicated NO SIGNAL. She used its dim illumination to find her matches and fire a candle. "Grab some and get busy, Red," she said irritably. "You can help me get these lit, you know."

There was no answer.

"Red, where are you?" With a sinking heart, Cinderella realized she was all alone. "Except for whoever is behind these disappearances!" she shuddered.

…..

Red Riding Hood tried to call out a warning, but a wad of cloth thrust into her mouth stifled her scream. Tape clamped her jaw shut before she could spit it out again. She tried squirming away from her abductor, but the arms held her tightly as ropes swirled about her, constricting and knotting. As she continued her futile struggles, she felt herself lifted and carried upstairs where she joined Goldilocks and Rapunzel.

The door slammed shut and footsteps died away. The three captives looked in alarm at one another, hoping desperately that Cinderella could somehow avoid capture as well….

…..

Cinderella retrieved the van keys from her handbag. "I'm not abandoning my friends," she told herself. "I'm going to get help." She paused, thinking the rain must have reduced the primitive driveway to a muddy quagmire. Would it even be possible to move the van? If so, could she possibly see where she was driving in this storm? "Only a complete maniac would go out in this weather," she sighed. "That, or someone with a real emergency and no working phone!"

She snatched an empty brass candlestick. "Okay, whoever you are!" she shouted, waving the impromptu weapon. "I'm getting out of here, and you'd better not try and stop me!"

Was it a trick of the wind, or did she hear the faint sound of mocking laughter? She moved determinedly to the front door. She almost made it before arms grabbed her from behind. The candlestick fell from her arms, clattering loudly on the floor as ropes were wound around her body….

…..

Four storm lanterns illuminated the attic, revealing Rapunzel, Goldilocks, and Red Riding Hood looking accusingly at Cinderella, who lowered her eyes apologetically. The four captives gyrated in their ropes, twisting and writhing, but no one managed to slip a hand free. The gags remained in place, leaving them unable to express themselves except in muffled groans.

The door banged open, followed by a triumphant laugh. "That was a great plan, mom!" Elspeth announced, looking gleefully at her restrained stepsister. Cinderella looked back poisonously, longing to say so much in return!

"Yeah, mom, I'm glad you're our manager!" exclaimed Margaux, sliding in to stand by her sister.

"I told you I'd take care of things," Desdemona responded. She was dressed in black, all the better to hide in shadows, an effect that truly made her look like a wicked stepmother. "With them out of the way, there will be an emergency opening tomorrow for a replacement band."

"And that will be us!" Margaux informed Cinderella. "The Unruly Petals!"

"Mpfff!" Cinderella laughed into her gag. These were her sisters who had thought The Bremen Town Musicians was a bad name?

"You won't be laughing for long!" Elspeth snarled, pushing Margaux back as she stepped closer.

"Now, now, you mustn't torment your stepsister so," chided Desdemona with an indulgent smile. "Think of the long stay she and her friends will endure here, for we must leave them bound and gagged until after the performance tomorrow evening!"

"Yeah, let's see how much you laugh at that!" Elspeth exclaimed, stepping back and folding her arms. "We'll be laughing though, won't we, Margaux?"

There was no answer.

"Mom, where'd Margaux go?" asked Elspeth.

"Margaux!" shouted the mother. She looked around irritably. "I told her we all needed to stay together!"

"Mpfff," said Cinderella, smirking as well as her gag permitted.

"Don't give me any of your attitude!" her stepmother returned. "Elspeth! Have you found your sister yet? Elspeth?"

There was no answer.

"What's going on here?" she said nervously. She looked piercingly at Cinderella, her gaze sliding to include the other members of Raspberry Stardust. "Did you do something to my precious girls? Of course you couldn't have… you're all tied up… but where are they? Elspeth! Margaux! Answer your mother! NOW!"

Only the thunder answered, booming ominously.

"I'll find them, don't worry," she said loudly as she traipsed from the door. She tried to make herself appear much less worried than she felt.

…..

Several agonizing minutes passed before the attic door creaked open again. Rapunzel, Goldilocks, Red Riding Hood, and Cinderella turned their heads. Had Desdemona found her daughters and come back to taunt them some more? Had the caretaker noticed something amiss and come over from his cottage? Or could it be…

"Hey, great to see you all together, but you really should be practicing!" The Wolf announced, striding into the dingy room as if the sight of his band members standing there bound and gagged did not seem especially remarkable to him. He swiftly went to work, releasing them from their bonds. "That phone call earlier got me wondering if you were all okay," he explained, "so I hurried over. Good thing I did!"

"What, in this rain?" asked Red Riding Hood in bewilderment. She couldn't help but notice he wasn't the slightest bit wet.

"Sure, I've seen worse," he explained glibly.

"Hmm," said Red Riding Hood. Had The Wolf really come over from his hotel in such a storm? Could he have been entertaining someone in his room, someone with a four-wheel drive vehicle, perhaps? Or could there be a more innocent explanation for his presence?

"But how did you get here?" puzzled Goldilocks, asking the question Red Riding Hood longed to hear answered.

The Wolf smiled with infuriating nonchalance, smoothly declining to relieve their curiosity. "Then I came inside and saw what they were doing to you, so I had to put a stop to that!"

"Wolfy, what did you do to my family?" Cinderella asked.

"Come see!" he exclaimed.

He led them a short distance and pushed open a bedroom door. Inside were three musty, antique chairs with soft, crimson padded seats and backs. Elspeth sat in one chair, Margaux in another, and Desdemona, writhing furiously, in the third. A considerable amount of rope surrounded their bodies, keeping them immobile. Colorful bandanas covered their mouths.

"Mpfff!" the called out in unison, pleading for release.

"No, you're staying here," Goldilocks told them. "After what you did to us, it's what you deserve!"

"At least they get to sit down," remarked Rapunzel. "I was so tired of standing up for so long!"

"So much for the Unruly Petals taking our gig," Cinderella said, sneering as she spoke the name.

"The Unruly Petals," mused The Wolf. "Hmm, you've got potential. We need to make a few changes, though, like getting you a new name and a new manager. Luckily, I can handle more than one band!"

"Mpfff!" protested Desdemona, her glance shifting from one daughter to the other. Surely they wouldn't give up on her? Then stared sadly at the floor, for the looks she received in response were not encouraging.

"Hey, the electricity's back on!" observed Cinderella.

"Right, time to get in a quick practice before bed!" announced Goldilocks.

"Does anyone remember where my drumsticks are?" asked Rapunzel.

"Will you stay to hear us, Wolfy?" invited Red Riding Hood.

"Sure, baby, I wouldn't miss it for anything," he agreed, calmly closing the door between him and the three captives.

…..

Raspberry Stardust performed the next evening to rave reviews. After the band completed its last encore, the four damsels trooped offstage, giggling and dreaming of future successes.

"Hey, Cindy," exclaimed Goldilocks, "now that Wolfy's signed up the Unruly Petals and added your stepmom as the third member, we don't have to worry about anyone tying us up again!"

They passed through the eager crowd, failing to notice an extremely hairy individual dressed in a great overcoat and dark sunglasses. He watched them intently as they departed.

"You're wrong about that, blondie!" Papa Bear snarled under his breath. "I'll capture you and keep you tied up until daddy pays up what he owes! Of course, those girls are all sticking pretty close together, but that's okay. I'll wait for my chance, and when it comes, I'll nab all of them!"


End file.
